In the year 2005 the McDonald’s Corporation’s legal counsel sent a memo to the board, informing them of the current state of Supreme Court jurisprudence. The In-house counsel, having outsourced their actual work, spent their time crafting an argument that, because corporations had rights as regular persons, the McDonald’s corporation could run for president. It was put to a vote by the board and approved by the vast majority of shareholders that it would conduct a pilot test of running for president. The same memo provided that, because money was considered speech, they could, in fact, provide a free small drink with proof of voting for Mcdonald’s. The election of 2008 was by far the most one sided election in the history of the united states. Under the new Party, Mcdonald’s ushered in a new era of corporate control.
Leading to what is now known as…
“Hey Jen, why not log on past midnight and help us develop this cool new Burgerpunk aesthetic?” he whined through the McChatApp as he poured himself another few fingers of bottom shelf margarita mix, his sunglasses adjusting themselves, somehow nerdily. Leftenant Jackson was not his favorite rum, and that was all they had left before the bombardiers came to restock the McBooze Drive-Thru car wash. He didn’t have enough Buddy Bucks to pick up the tequila or tRiple sec to go along with it so he decided on pure vitriolic hate to get through the bottle. He ripped a fat, sick cloud from his Hondo Vape box. “Couuuuuuuuuuuugh pfft huyik,” he coughed pitifully before burping up his margarita mix. His almond tomato cheesy surprise vape juice didn’t mix well with straight margarita mix, who would have guessed.
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